MEMBER PROFILES
YOU ARE VISITOR NUMBER 
SINCE 3/17/02 TO VIEW THIS PAGE
Man is he horny or what?
Name:
Name: John Holmes
Know Aliases:
Skip
Title:
Department of Transportation
Preferred Beverage:
Busch Pounders, Natty Ice, anything
under $8.00 a case.
Famous Quote:
"Yo, anybody seen my _______?!?!?!"
Fill in the blank with any of the following: Keys, Wallet, Head, Beer,
Car, Etc.
Translation:
I keep losing all my stuff!
Main Talent:
Finding and standing on the
highest perch when completely wasted, to avoid tripping over anything on
the littered floor
(never mind the lack of balance
and the long way down) and yelling "BIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRD".
Other Talents:
Drinking Beer, Puking, Making
ass prints on foggy windows.
Commentary:
Our very own Department of Transportation
has a long History of Vehicular Violations which rightfully earned him
this position. It all began by Skip being the first member of Wasted city
to have his own Vehicle. So naturally, it was up to him to transport the
other members from function to function. One time, we needed to move a
party from one place to another, so instead of making two trips with His
1980 Toyota Tercel, we packed 13 people into it and almost flew off the
road a few times (go ahead, try and find a clown car with more than 10
clowns in it!).
He has furthered his status as
the King of motor vehicles when he tried to be superman by taking off from
one car roof and landing on another, but instead he put his knee in the
other cars side, rear window. (Boy was BJ pissed - owner of smashed vehicle)
On another occassion he furthered
the motion with a sucessful breakage of BJ's rear windshield by closing
it while it was propped up with a sophisticated window-holder-upper (a
screwdriver). Skip had a nice ice (glass) shower, as he was sitting in
the trunk at the time, and needless to say BJ had another Shit-Fit.
Another day, while hanging in
the Poconos with a few members of WC, we could not find a thing to do.
The best thing on TV was Wrestling! So it took a little bit of arm twisting
- NOT! more like "Skip we're gonna cut the roof off of your car!" and the
next thing we know, there we are with chain saws and circular saws, cutting
the roof off of skip's brand new (not, more like 128,000 miles) white ford
mustang. Lemme tell you, we made it the coolest convertibe in all of arrowhead!!
Moral of the story, Make sure you have Cable TV, or Skip's car is not around.
But then again, we might have taken the roof off the house.
Needless to say, Skip is our
coordinator when it comes to transporting us around in style. As with all
other members, he lives up to his name.